Exploring Ron Gilbert and Double Fine Studios The Cave is no easy affair, and the game features some very obscure achievements. If your like me, the first time you beat the game you knew there was a ton of stuff you missed, and for New Game+ mode players, you probably weren’t exactly happy with the fate of your characters. This guide is for you. It will fill you in on how to get the best ending, and how to get all 27 achievements.
Note: This guide is as spoiler free as possible, but there are minor plot details revealed. Read on at your own risk.
How To Get The Bad Ending: Complete the Cave as normal. After you collect your final three trinkets (look familiar?) , return to the gift shop curator and hand them over. He will reward you with your object of desire. Take this, and happily make your way to the end of the cave…and your doom. Mwahahahaha.
How To Get The Good Ending: Complete the Cave as normal. After you collect your final three trinkets (look familiar?) , return to the gift shop curator and hand them over. However, this time instead of exiting, try to give your new object back. After a couple of refusals, he will take it, and you can continue on to the happy ending. They are considerably less morbid. You may also notice that this is the only ending that actually shows your character leaving the Cave.
Fire in the Hole: During the minecart segment, allow all three characters to get blown up by the Miner’s dynamite at the same time.
Funnier Than A Burning Carnival: Unlocked during the Hillbilly’s segment. Check out Cassidee’s guide if you’re having trouble obtaining those six tickets.
What You Always Wanted: Finish the game once with any characters and getting any endings.
Grand Theft Karma: Unlocked during the Monk’s segment.
God Bless Us, Every One: Unlocked during the Twin’s segment.
Such Bad Children: Break a piece of furniture in the Twin’s mansion. This can be done by knocking over the bookcase in the living room, or jumping on the parent’s bed until it collapses.
A Midsummer’s Night Thieve: Unlocked during the Knight’s segment.
Who Wants To Live Forever: Reach the end of the Cave without anybody dying. This one is tough, and is bets reserved until after you’ve played through the game a few times. I suggest bringing the Time Traveler, Monk and Knight with you. Their abilities tend to be the most helpful.
Royal Buffet: After retrieving Excalibur during the Knight’s section, follow the King back to the Princess’s room and witness the hilariousness.
The Whole Story: You have to find every character’s Cave Painting. Simply scour the environment closely, and you can have it in three playthroughs.
Shoplifting: Take the Post Card from the first gift shop into the Cave.
Remorse: Proceed to carry that damn Post Card all the way back to the Gift Shop. Sigh.
Win-win-win-win-win-win-win: Bring all seven characters through the Cave once, and achieve any ending with them.
Well Done: During the early section where you have to bait the monster with the Hot Dog on the spike, simply have a character jump into his fire breath whilst holding said Hot Dog.
Weight of the Beast: Check out the scale. You need to specifically bring the Knight, the Time Traveler and the Hillbilly to the Guess Your Weight Machine, then have two of them hold the Sledgehammer and Wrench. Creepy!
Hazardous Work Environment: During the Scientist’s segment, slip off the same ledge the NPC scientist slips off of, near the Wet Floor Sign.
To Soothe A Savage Beast: In the zoo with the Monster Hunter and blue monster who “kills” one of your characters, you will find a Batteryless Taperecorder. Charge it with the battery, and record the music coming out of the player next to the Monster Hunter. Play the music, and the achievement is yours.
Walk Like An Adventurer: Near the beginning of the Adventurer’s pyramid, you will find a ladder leading to a small nook with hieroglyphics depicting three people carrying a fish on a pole. Simply bring all three characters in front of the painting, and you will get the achievement.
Smells Like Team Spirit: During the Time Traveler’s mission, bring all three of your characters to the Dinosaur Exhibit and have them acquire the scent of a dinosaur. Loved that movie.
Embrace Impermanence: In the Monk’s trial, carry the feather that the Master gives you all the way through his trial. During the magic carpet ride up, jump off towards the alcove on the right (snatching the cave painting on the way). The feather allows you to break the bridge and get the achievement.
Creamed Corn: Destroy the Cans of Corn in both the minecart area and the island area. There are plenty of explosives in both areas to help you out.
Don’t Fill Up On Fortune Cookies: In the Hillbilly’s carnival area, have every character get their fortune read by the Fortune Reader.
Redemption: Get every character’s Good Ending.
Corruption: Get every character’s Bad Ending.
It Belongs In A Museum: Unlocked during the Adventurer’s segment.
Prevenge: Unlocked during the Time Traveler’s Segment
Learn To Stop Worrying: Unlocked during the Scientist’s segment.